Kung Fu is not Karate!
Beer Reviewed: Eagle Claw Fist Imperial Amber Ale
Style: Amber Ale
This is my last review of a Clown Shoes beer for this arch, and I wanted to take a minute to acknowledge what is pretty obvious: these labels are so crazy that they’re driving me to think and write about issues and ideas that have nothing to do with beer. I hope that is at least a little entertaining, but let me know if you want me to go more in-depth on two-row malt or cascade hops. I can, but this is more fun!
So, this label reminds me of various self-defense related issues and ideas I’ve had over the years, and this is a perfect place to vent it. First is my problem with the Karate Kid. I loved the original movie with the perfect movie archetypes of the wise old mentor, the aran-esque antagonist and the hot, albeit slightly thick love interest. A perfect movie, I would proclaim. Now let’s compare the original with the remake a couple years back. The ideation, planning and execution of this steaming pile of shit was a failure from jumpstreet, and let me count the ways:
- Will Smith’s kid is not an actor, he’s the son of an actor, so stop buying roles for him to play. In the words of Daniel Tosh, throw Jazzy Jeff some work, I’m pretty sure he’s homeless.
- Jackie Chan is no Pat Morita. He’s not an actor, he’s not wise beyond his years and he’s just kind of irritating. When you see Pat Morita’s arch across M.A.S.H., Happy Days and as Mr. Miyagi, as well as his tons of other roles, it staggers in comparison. On a similar note, you can’t have a Karate kid without John Kreese.
- Lastly and most importantly, Kung Fu is not Karate! Would it be so hard to get someone who is Japanese and not Chinese for the lead role? Is it all about the Asian box office? Is Jackie Chan the go-to Asian actor?
Must the great and influential movies of my youth be sullied by Will Smith’s desire to give his son a career, and Hollywood not understanding the differences in Karate, Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do, Jujitsu and Vovinam Viet Vo Dao?
I need to drown my sadness, so let’s get onto the beer...
Quantitative parameters of beer character
- The brewery provides an IBU rating on the label of 100, but I will use The Hitchens Taste Scale, and rate this at +5. Interestingly, I was just reading about how humans can’t distinguish between IBU ratings above 60, I’d say this is just gratuitous as the higher IBU usually results in a dulling of the bitter flavor.
- This label indicates this Amber Ale has a 8% Alc/vol. This seems a little high, and the taste is a little boozey, but it’s overshadowed by the bitterness.
- The color is cloudy and amber, but maybe a little more brown than red. Relying on the handy SRM, I would put this at a 18.
Qualitative parameters of beer character
- The aroma is bright and citrusy. It is reminiscent of Cascade hops, but their website indicates Simcoe, Centennial and Citra hops.
- The flavor is ‘rounded’ if that makes sense. Strong hops, but not the brightness I typically like. It’s a little dulled by the strong hops.
- The mouthfeel is likewise a bit dull. It’s back-of-the-throat flavors that just seem to hang around.
- Carbonation is pretty strong. The initial pour generated a strong head and there is a steady stream coming up from the bottom of the glass.
- The temperature should be colder. I don’t think you want this to open up in the warmer temperatures, but that’s just my tastes coming out.
I must admit this is not my favorite. The bright citrus nose would make an enjoyable amber ale, but the overly hoppiness seems to focus more on what they can do, rather than what they should do. I might keep looking at some of the other offerings from Clown Shoes.